Best laid plans

On March 3rd, in my first dude report, I mentioned that I wanted to start two additional posting folders/categories before the end of March. Ten days later Paige was born. Not only did I not fulfill my goal of two additional category posts, I didn't post at all the rest of the month. Now that I am blogging again, with the 2 and a half year old and 4 week old taking care of themselves HA!HA!HA!, I hope to get both of these categories started before the end of April.

Lucy also made some plans that we have yet to complete, although she is further along than I. Before the recent warm weather her and I were have some "chalk talk" about what we were going to do when it got nice outside. She laid out her plan for a big party in the backyard. The progress that she has made since our meeting is that she has not only put in some quality hours on the swing set, but she has done it with some of the friend pictured. We are still working on how to get all pictured attendees to the summer party.

First, I will walk you through the layout of the plan. On the left hand side of the chalk board is the swing set. Party attendees that are pictures on the swing set included Lucy, Ari, Clara, Tom, Vivi, Dad, Baby (now referred to as Paige) and some others. To this point, the plan seems reasonable. Some of the friends live out of town, but it isn't outside the realm of possibilities to get them to town to play.

The lower right part of the picture is the table on our patio. Although the table appears very overcrowded, it is mommies drinking wine. (This is as good of time as any to remind you that this is a plan Lucy thought up) Up the hill we have some neighbors (Cooka, Big John, Noah, and Suzie) climbing the tree on the left. Still seems to be a reasonable plan...

After that is were executing her best laid plan will be as likely as Harry Carey getting Albert Einstein on to his show. (Harry doesn't mention Albert until 4:34 into the clip, but if your schedule permits I would recommend taking in the whole video) The right tree has Dora the Explorer and her best friend Boots and the blue blob to the right of the swing set is Maria from the Sound of Music. Tracking down a couple of animated characters and an Austrian nanny from the 1930's will be challenging.

On the other hand, we have tracked Dora down once before (Mall of America last Christmas Season, pictured below) and my updated blog posts could wait another month as I try to get on Julie Andrews schedule to invite her to our party!??!

Horse named Blog

It has been a while since I posted, so the purpose of the post tonight is to prove to myself that I have time to blog once in a while. Also, I like to post so when go to sleep tonight and sleep from around 11:30 until 3:30 (Paige will need a diaper change at that time), I can be pleased to have got back into blogging...or back on the horse named blog. Picture illustration of me on my horse named Blog below.




In actuality I don't think I am following the "Get back on the horse the bucked you" quote accurately. It isn't like my blog "bucked" me from my regular blogging routine. It was the arrive of Paige three and a half weeks ago.

First family shot on record!

It has been a lot of fun getting to know Paige. Naturally with a new born it is also a lot of work. Libby has been amazing, not only taking care of the dependent newborn around the clock, but also working with Lucy. Lucy has been a great older sister to Paige, but is still figuring out life with a little less exclusive mom time.

Lucy hasn't regressed at all with her potty training, which both Lib and I are pleasantly surprised by. Knock on wood, but I feel close to using the work trained to describe Lucy's potty situation. Sometimes it take a portable potty, Sesame Street, and a bag of Cheetos, but I guess that all still beats her going in her pants.


Although our house is a complete disaster and we are all fighting fatigue, we feel very blessed by Paige's arrival. I will close with a shot of the girls (a term I am still getting use to saying) "rocking" their tie-dye outfits.

Lessons from Lucy

With a title like "Lessons from Lucy" one could image this post going in many directions. You may think you are on the verge of hearing a deep tale of parenting or a winding tale of life lessons. We are not going that direction with this post, but rather in a direction that reflects the mood Lucy was in one morning earlier this week.

At breakfast Lucy announced, simply, she had some questions and that she wanted some answers. She explained to Mommy that with Daddy's help he wanted to learn about Ariel's Mommy, Cinderella's Daddy, and Cinderella's Mommy. While honored to help, I was concerned that we were not going to find much. Lucy suggested we “look on-line” (a new phrase of her’s) and before we knew it we were clicking away.

To step back for a moment, Lucy has really been getting into the characters of her books. From Dora, to Elmo, to Ariel, to Pinkalicious she is constantly talking about the characters in her books. Daily she announces that she is Zoe (Sesame Street), or that Daddy is Big Bird, or that Mommy is Abby (also Sesame Street). When we color she always wants to draw Dora, Boots, Cookie Monster or some other character. She focuses on these character and wants to know everything about them…which brings us back to our daily lesson.

Question 1: Where is Ariel’s mommy?

Answer: Although Ariel’s mom, Queen Athena, does not appear in The Little Mermaid, she does appear in the 2008 video, The Little Mermaid: Ariel’s Beginning. Apparently, Queen Athena doesn’t make it out of the film, but Lucy was certainly glad to see a picture.

Question 2: Where is Cinderella’s Daddy?

Answer: We were unable to find out Cinderella’s dad’s name, but we did find a picture of him. Apparently Cinderella was born to a wealthy family, but after her mother died her father remarried. After his death (reason undisclosed) the stepmother, and her two step daughters, Drizella and Anastasia, treat her very badly. You know how the story goes from there.

Question 3: Where is Cinderella’s Mommy?

Answer: We were unable to find a name or picture for Cinderella’s mommy. If you have heard of her or seen her please report your findings to the comment section of this post. It would be greatly appreciated.

Ultimately, there are many lessons that Lucy has already taught us and there will be many more lessons to come. A lot of these lessons are abstract, but not today. Today, Lucy was very excited to learn the facts about some of the people she interacts with daily. I could hear the excitement in her voice when she announced to mommy, “Look, Ariel’s mommy and Cinderella’s daddy!”

Thanks “on-line” for your help and thank you Lucy for teaching me something new today.

She went TP(roll)ing

Kids these days…they seem to find trouble at a younger and younger age all the time. Back in my day (spoken like a real adult), kids didn’t get into TPing until high school. Now a two year old is out TP(roll)ing our house!?!?!

With Lib’s encouragement and a helpful craft book Lucy and I have been putting our toilet paper rolls to good use. To date we have completed a camera and a pair of binoculars. A recent arrival of crafts in the mail from Grandma Johnson that included colored popsicle sticks has us now working on some maracas.

Lucy putting the binoculars to good use to see what dad is doing.

Using the binoculars to get an up close look and the camera. The maracas are on the table.

2024
I was imagining these pictures surfacing in about 14ish years when Lucy is in high school. If she ever does go TPing (and to be clear if anyone in the neighborhood is reading this, we will do what we can to NOT have this happen) I figure the pictures will come up in one of two ways.

First option will be Lucy getting caught by the neighbors and I will take these pictures over and say, “This incident was my fault because I taught her the art of TPing at a very young age.”

The second option is Lucy saying, “Dad, I was only trying to get to the inside of the toilet paper rolls as quickly as possible so we could make some more maracas like we use to.”

Dear Lucy,
If you are reading this and the year is 2024 here are my responses to your plans. Option One: There is no chance of me taking the blame for you, but I would be glad to give you a ride to the neighbors in the morning where you will be picking the TP up. Second Option: Well played, going at the heart strings and the memories of your younger days. While I do have fond memories, I have been preparing for this moment…get in the car!
Love,
Dad

Top Six Signs you might be the child of a stay at home dad

After using a list format to blog my Twins thoughts earlier this week I decided to make another list. I thought it would be a good way to list some of the things Lucy does that may be a result of her having a stay at home dad.

Top Six Signs you might be the child of a stay at home dad

6) When you are playing with your doll house family, you always have the mom doll leave for work and you always keep dad in the kitchen drinking coffee.

5) When you see an image of Joe Mauer, you frequently yell, “Hit the Ball!” (This phrase was actually taught to her my her mom, but reinforced by dad)

4) Even though you are a two year old girl and you favorite color is pink, you love to rough house and wrestle.

3) Whenever someone in the house, including yourself, farts you proudly announce, “Gas Leak!”

2) When you are in a daring mood you jump from stairs, off the bed, and off the couch, and assume that everyone is strong enough to catch you like your dad.

1) You occasionally look at your food and say, “Get in my belly!”

DUDE REPORT: Twins Spring Training Opener

When I participated in Nick Punto Day I mentioned that I had hopes of doing some more “dude stuff” posts. I contemplated starting a different blog to discuss those issues, but I opted to keep everything on Tales from the Homefront. I will label any non-stay at home dad posts accordingly (to give those who aren’t interested a heads up) and then add folders on the side to breakdown past posts by topic. As my new month’s resolution, in addition to the DUDE REPORT, I hope to open a book review folder and an Admiring for the Homefront folder to honor peeps we think deserve a shout out (because nothing says nice work then having a post written about you on a blog that has a daily circulation of under 20!?!?!?)

Tomorrow, March 4th, is the Twins first spring training game. While the outcome of the game means nothing, as long as no one gets hurt, it is a symbol of the beginning of another season of Twins baseball. I love the start of the baseball season and I love the Twins chances this season. I took the opportunity to list my predictions for the season.

1. Matt Guerrier will improve on his great 2009 season. This will be made possible by the depth of this years’ bullpen, including the return of Pat Neshek and the signing of veteran Clay Condrey, who don’t know anything about. This depth should allow Guerrier to keep is appearances at a healthy number of 70 versus the 79 of last season.

2. My negative starting pitching predictions (which I hope I am wrong about) are that Liriano will make some positive strides and win 10 games, but not yet return to the 2006 Liriano we remember. Secondly, I don’t think Slowey will make it through the season health. Not sure why, but I don’t see him pitching over 130 innings.

3. On the positive side, Baker and Blackburn will combine to win 30 games. Neither is considered an ace, but I love their consistency. What the Twins lack in an ace they will make up with depth. The resigning of Pavano as well as having Duensing, Perkins, and even Manship around will help.

4. The 6’11”, 290 pound reliever, Jon Rauch, will be put in charge of the teaching the 5’9”, 190 pound Nick Punto and 5’9”, 178 Alexi Casilla how to run the bases. This appointment will be based on intimidation alone, because watching Jon run the bases would not be a pretty sight. In the end, Rauch will need to squish Casilla like a grape and mail him back to triple A after Alexi tries to go from first to third on a one out pop fly to short. Gardy will insulate Punto from any criticism Rauch has for him. Ultimately Jon will get a new tattoo to remember the experience.

5. I have two Delmon Young confessions I need to make. First, I have to admit whenever I think of him the first thing that comes to mind is when he chucked his bat at a minor league umpire after striking out. I hope to move past that this year. Secondly, I have to admit that like my brother-in-law and father-in-law I am a Young fan. I heard he lost 30 pounds this offseason and I am optimistic that this will help him defensively. Offensively, I also predict an improvement. Young struggled against right handed pitchers last year, batted only 271 and having 61 of his 92 strikeouts against them. If Thome takes 100 of the righty at bats this year, I expect Young to bat near 295, with 75 RBI’s and 80 Ks (assuming he still gets around 400 ABs).

6. If Denard Span gets hurt or needs a day off the Twins will have to play five infielders and two outfielders because we don’t have a backup centerfielder. Please don’t get hurt Denard, I am not real excited about Brandon Harris as our everyday third baseman and Nick Punto as our every day centerfielder. Also, I don’t think Jacque Jones is the answer, who when I heard they signed him I assumed it was as a coach.

7. Of the new offensive acquisitions I remain cautiously optimistic about Orlando Hudson. I was very excited when they signed him, but I am concerned about his age. If Thome hits 10 HR’s and drives in 35 in 130 AB’s I will be ecstatic. My hope for JJ Hardy is that he is our starting shortstop for many years to come. If he performs to his career averages of 21 HRs, 75 RBIs, and hits .262 I will be satisfied for his first year as a Twin.

8. In a dream world Mauer and Morneau would figure out a way to share $350 million over the next 10 years and both finish their careers as Twins. I would also love to see Kubel make the all-star team.

9. When all is said and done I see the Twins winning 90 games. That feels like a big number, but is only three more then last year. They will win the division by 8 games over the Tigers.

I would love to hear any predictions you may have for the the Twins this year, from the number of snow outs the Twins may have to the number of time Gardy will get ejected this year. GO TWINS!

Sid Hartman Style

Sid Hartman is a local sports journalist for the Minneapolis Star Tribune. He has been writing about local sports for an amazing 64 years. He has a large and popular column in the Sunday sports sections were he simply writes about whatever he wants. I guess if you work for a company for over half of a decade you get to do that. I am going to follow Sid’s format with tonight’s post and just ramble and jot.

I have referred to baby #2 as Larry a couple of times on the blog. In addition to Larry being as good as any general nondescript name for “the bump” Larry Johnson is a former NBA player. He played for a couple NBA teams, had a great college career at UNLV, and is probably most famous (at least in my mind) for making some Grandmama commercials for Converse. While our daughter probably won’t have much in common with the 6’7” gold toothed, African American power forward, it will go down as a funny point of reference.

A brief additional tale on Larry Johnson is my college roommate's well travelled LJ jersey. The Charlotte Hornets number 2 jersey, owned by Mark (wearing his Sam Cassell jersey in the picture), is being worn by Mike, a different roommate, in the picture below. This jersey has made appearances at multiple events throughout college and still shows up at most fantasy football drafts, etc.

It may be a surprise to many, but everyone pictured has a significant other and has turned into a productive adult!?!?!?

Lucy has decided what she wants to be for Halloween next year. Abby from Sesame Street is the pick, and just in the nick of time…only 8 months to spare. In dealing with a 2 year old typically I would say this decision is bound to change, but I think Lucy is going to stick with this one. We will see. Lucy has not only decided that she is going to be Abby, but also that Lib and the new baby will both be Prairie Dawn and that I will be Oscar. Lucy if you think I have been a bit crabby lately you could just tell me instead of indirectly recommending that I would make a good Grouch for Halloween!?!?!

Abby Cadabby --- Oscar the Grouch --- Prairie Dawn

Lucy continues to have a very active imagination, like most 2 year olds I am sure. She is particularly imaginative when we are playing outside. First she insists that we use aliases. She is Aunt Beth (my sister) and I am Uncle Mark (my brother). No matter what we are doing if I call her Lucy or she calls me Daddy, she stops and makes the necessary correction. Secondly, she really has been stretching our imaginations when insists that we name each chunk of ice that we see. Although it is has been warm this week there is still plenty of snow and ice outside. When we are outside it doesn't take long for me to burn through all the American Girl dolls and Sesame Street characters!??!!?!?